hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
