i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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