He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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