Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize