That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
