She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I smell like Dick and happiness
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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