I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize