he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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