glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
