my sisters under your porch take her home
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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