i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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