We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
