Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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