We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
