I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
