well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
