just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
