i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
