everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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