i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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