so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
