your room smells of hookers.
And success
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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