Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nicole vs. Life
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
