your parents love me but you hate me
That's intense
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
