1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
