I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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