i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
