Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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