he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
