Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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