Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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