drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
