I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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