I like my sex mixed with concussions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
