I wanna passion pit in your ass
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
