I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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