The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
