wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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