dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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