Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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