Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The uberlube is also flammable
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
