Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
