I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
