okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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