There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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