The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My penis needs a shock collar
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
