I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
