you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
