ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
