VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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