the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
