Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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