Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
