thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
