Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
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