This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
