Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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