Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Houston, we have a blender
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
