What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
