just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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